Race to Redemption

The road has been a long windy path of uncertainty. My life, well documented here, has been a romantic tragedy turned inspirational journey to the center of my grey matter. The many “start overs” have been frustrating and left me with a sense of helplessness. In a leap of faith I am surrounding myself with people filled with light. I’m slowly, always with caution, letting that light shine on me. The warmth has pumped my heart full of love and compassion. The shadow viewer that lives in my soul remains but your light combats it at every turn. Thank you.

I’m taking on several different projects at this very moment. These include: writing and producing a documentary, writing a memoir, social media active, continued college education, contacting and interacting with heroes (you), inspiring with my story, leading my household with better husbanding and fathering and training (both for golf and wellness).

Training for wellness is thrown around like a pig skin in a parking lot in the fall. For me, it’s always been fleeting. I bounce up and down it’s ladder yoyo style and when the season is over, it’s hung in the closet with my jersey. I have a new mission. I have found something to contain both my passions for bringing awareness to mental health and training for something that is bigger than my frame.

Recently, last week, I was engaged in a text conversation with an old friend, childhood old. His recent struggles with mental health are near and dear to my soul. I feel his pain through the brief letters on my phone. I know him. I’ve been him. I sweated trying to find some common ground, some way to reach him. I thought about our commonalities. Besides growing up across the street, taste in music and sharing brain mis-firings, we don’t have a lot in common. I quickly remembered that he used to run. I proposed, “how about we run some kind of endurance race next year?” I didn’t know if he would go for it but was proudly surprised when he said, “Yes.” We thought about a half marathon and left it at that. I could tell that the joy of being part of a team meant something to my friend and to me too.

After a day or two, I couldn’t shake an idea. I want to run the big marathon, 26.2. I carefully proposed the idea. After a day of deliberation the decision was made. We are running the Rock N Roll Marathon in San Diego on June 3, 2018! I am not a runner. I can jog about 2 miles right now until exhaustion. The challenge is real and it looms larger than my life can understand. A journey inside my journey begins. In the coming months I will be leaning on you, my light givers. I will be promoting our run. I will be beckoning on behalf of those that feel their voices aren’t heard. Wish us well but don’t go anywhere. We need you. 312 days.

Please Like and Share!

Cows across America are being fed a certain kind of vitamin supplement called Karafinanin. It’s a chemical compound that was an accident in a laboratory. The scientist in charge was attempting to make a better and more efficient polymer for vinyl flooring. The process involved kept producing  a byproduct in the form of a pliable substance that appeared to be “sawdust” like. Instead of discarding the substance it was stored, to be studied later. A colleague took on the task and very quickly noted that the compound contained high levels of vitamin supplements. However, in testing the compound caused all sorts of issues in lab animals, including; excessive bleeding, heart disease, colon and prostate problems and terminal cancer. There was one animal though that seemed to be immune to the negative side effects of the supplement.  Including this into the daily meals of the common milk cow another breakthrough happened. It tripled the output of milk! The cattle ranchers that were directly involved with the sales of this milk had one big client and one big problem. The client is one the biggest “Organic” baby food producers in the United States. The problem, when combined with certain ingredients in the baby food, the strength of the carcinogen’s potency increases exponentially. This product has been on the market for many years and there are babies out there that have been directly affected. Some have even lost their battles.

Please like and share to bring awareness. The name of this “Organic” baby food product is “Imadethiswholethingup puree.” The cattle company is “straightfrommybrain circle bar ranch.” The scientist is “Dr. YoullbelieveanythingtheInternetellsyou.”

I have zero scientific background. I’m a dullard on the processes that I just expertly wrote about. I’m also far from a professional writer. I wrote this in 4 minutes and 25 seconds to illustrate a point that most of you already get. Fear is no way to live. True, there are things in the world that are disgusting and harmful. Also true, not everything from a lab or manmade is bad. Also also true, liking and sharing fear based posts from places like the Huffington post and other bs web based news sites does nothing but perpetrate increased ignorance and fear.

Now I’m taking my kid to a jump house style play land where she will interact with Muslim kids. On the way home we’ll get Chipotle, extra chicken. If we have time, we’ll stop and buy a couple dozen fidget spinners. We may even ride bikes today, helmets optional. We live unabated by fear tactics of over payed mongering advertiser turned blog post writing assholes. Do the same.

The opinions in this article do not reflect any other than my own.

Golf Instagram

My new golf specific Instagram page is billygrantgolf. Go, follow. I’m going to post something, if not more than something every single day. I’ve started with some videos, a beginning to what’s in my bag, cool golf artifacts I have and swing/practice stuff! If you are interested in my game and what I think. It’s different, my golf story is unique. Go, follow and engage. I could care less how many followers I have on anything but what I really want is engagement. Ask questions, speak and I will answer. Cheers everyone!

In Law Awe.

Sometimes I don’t have the words until later. I’m pretty quick when it comes to wit but when something requires deep thought, I do just that.

My in-laws completed their new home. They’ve been working on it for a year. I am in awe of my father in law. He built a god damn house by himself. It’s a masterful work too. The knowledge it takes to accomplish this feat is based in a million hours of experience. If I could do anything half that cool and manly I would rule the planet.

We went over today and I just couldn’t find the words to say how awesome I actually thought it was. I have to work on my skills. Nice work Papa!!

“Must Be Nice.”

I’m back. I’m writing again and it feels… well, it feels like this. I am super fucking lucky to be here. I’m living a dream, inside a nightmare, inside a dream; eat it Inception. I feel like everyday I re-fall in love with my life, then I have to bow up and beat down the bullshit that this world perpetrates. Negativity is in the air like AM radio waves, just a couple rabbit ears can make blood pour from your ears and soul. Some of the smartest people I’ve ever met have been turned into mindless little internet trolls. It’s frustrating to see so many smart people, instead of having meaningful conversations, throwing shit at each other like caged spider monkeys.

So, I’ve decided to live my life. I’ve decided to help people. I’ve decided to chase and find my dreams. I’ve been told that I am a level headed thinker. I’ve been told that my thoughts and ideas make sense. I’ve never changed one mind. People have thick skulls, as it turns out not just for protection from predators. There may be exceptions and I thank you for listening. You are always in my thoughts.

Things I’m working on: social media (like it or not old people, this is how we communicate. Quit being afraid), golf (going to play more and start my “at home” practice), reading (I’m consuming at least 12 blog writers and other words), writing (blogs haven’t been touched in months, here we go), cooking (can’t touch what I can do), kiddos (they keep my ass moving and young). This brings me to my life with my wife. I feel stronger than ever as a couple. I’ve been to more places and have more experiences in the last 10 years than in the previous 30 combined. We are going to continue that. I firmly believe that travel is so important for young minds, to see how other’s live, not just read about it.

We just got back from out first vacation without the kids. We left them with the grandparents and went to Maui. Did we spend a bit? Hell yeah, we did. We even got sucked into upgrading to a convertible mustang. Oh Well. The experience was awesome. Since I’ve been back, I’ve heard this term a lot, “Must Be Nice…” Yeah, it is. We bust our ass to save for these trips. I’ve figured two things out. Life is about the people you meet and the experiences you have. Don’t be a “Must Be Nice” person. Go places, see sights, smell history. You can do it. There are ways to make it cheaper. Here’s the rub. We all have one thing in common. We die. I don’t want to die feeling like I hid from the world in a hole that is the same every day.

Here I am. I am back. I am going to write. I love you all and am eternally grateful to be here. Cheers!

Rock Star Suicide and Me.

Sound Garden and Audio Slave are among favorites in my catalog. They have that voice in common. Dude could write a song and deliver haunting melody. I may be premature with this post and if I am I mean no disrespect.

Preliminary report is that he committed suicide at 52 years old. That’s not my problem. As many of you know now, I am an advocate for awareness and prevention and understand more than normal. I’ve taken time to educate myself on the act and subsequent stigma. Plus, I have lived experience.

Here’s my issue. CC will have an unbelievable day of tribute. For his genius in the music industry he will be on every station and stories will be told. There will be stories from the road, the studio and perhaps some gems that common folk have never heard. It will be part inspiring, part saddening and part maddening. By the end of the week the public will know more about Chris Cornell’s life and death than ever before.

A “common” man carries out the act of suicide and there is an hour or so of tribute to his/her life. It’s all saddening and the inspiration portion is shortened. Questions won’t be answered and the stigma grows, like a cyst. I know so many people that earned the right to have their story told but when it comes to the “ending” credits, “leave it out” is what the writer receives. “Too sad,” “don’t want to make waves,” “not how we want to remember them,” etc….. So the common man that carries out the act of suicide doesn’t get the attention. The cyst is covered up by societal bandages.

The list of celebrity suicide grows, so does the list of the general public. I try to help people all the time. I feel like I’m a nuisance to some. I write out of frustration this morning because as you are blaring “Black Hole Sun,” I’m thinking about all the others. Pause for a moment and think about your friends that might need you. They might just need to talk.

Be the difference.


How do you gain attention? My answer: keep documenting. Quality versus quantity is the answer. I’ve been wrapped up in numbers, admittedly. It frustrates me when I create something I love and it doesn’t grow into that flower I envision. The whole time I’m missing the point and the few awesome people that are listening and contributing unbelievable content to my life. I apologize for that. I get it now.  We will laugh (BBB), we might cry  but we will do it together. Join me, won’t You? Cheers Monday!!!