The continual hardening of American faces is a disease. I want to be in a good mood. I want to laugh and smile without reason. Smiles are infectious and more powerful than the army of frown but they are in short supply. The smile palace is being decimated by negative ion bombs. Human beings are destroying each other from the inside out. Mother nature has nothing on the inner turmoil of the conscious being. I smiled at a girl this morning and she gave me the “fuck you and your dog” look back. Out loud I said, “I don’t have a dog…” Here’s the good news. There are people out there that combat bitch face everyday. There are happy people. I must find them. I am happy but it’s mostly contained within my household. My perma-frown grows a little by the hour. I must change. I plead with my insides to get out of my way. I beg my wall to come down. I’m scared of making friends. The mere thought gives me anxiety. I don’t know how or what to do. My suggestion box is open and available. By the way, I appreciate humor and the art of sarcasm but it’s not always the way.
I used to say “strangers are only friends I haven’t made yet.” That was an ion ago and I’ve grown old and bitter. Strangers are my biggest allies right now. Other than the inner workings of my household, it’s been the support and love that complete God Damn strangers have given me lately that keeps me doing “passion projects.” Thank you. Thank you for liking, commenting, messaging me, for ideas, for encouragement, for knowledge, for piece of mind. I really can’t say thank you enough. This also serves as a critical notice to my “friends and family.” (of course there are exceptions, so don’t get all pissy if you fall in that category). I write you all the time, text you, phone you, email you… a loooooot of you. Don’t take your friends and family for granted. I’ve begun to let go of the fact that I will not be friends with you if this is “one sided.” If you’re saying to yourself right now, “yeah, I haven’t heard from you in a while…” You may be on that list. Find each other people. Let’s change the way we relate. Or, let’s go back to the old school, where we didn’t have technology to make it easier, and completely lose touch with one another. Maybe that is the whole point. Is it? I continue on, will you join me or be laid to waste on the side of the super highway?
I wrote “The Kids Aren’t Alright” in 2011 and nothing has changed for the better. If anything, the educational system is far worse. This Betsy lady cares nothing about the public school system and kids don’t seem to be even in the Top 10 priority of this administration. Top that with the idea to even think about deporting 800,000 kids that have only known America as home is infuriating. I don’t know what to do. For the first time in my life, I’m really looking at other countries for residence. We probably won’t make that move but it’s never been in the forward of my thoughts either. I’m hopeful good people will prevail and all evils will be corrected. The kids in this fucking place need the adults to start acting like adults. Please read my old post below. Love, Billy.
We went to a tree lighting ceremony tonight for the city we live in. It was beautiful, had a very small town feel. They had children’s choirs singing Christmas carols, yummy food, a snow field for kids to play in, free hot chocolate and coffee, and of course, Santa showed up. I finally felt a little bit at home. One disturbing occurrence however, we were eating and this little girl approached Stephanie and asked her if she knew where she supposed to go. Stephanie leaned down and talked to the girl and told me she would be right back. When she got back she explained. The girl’s parents just sent her up to the stage from probably a few hundred yards away. She was signing in one of the choirs. When asked, “where are your parents?” She said,” They didn’t want to come up here.” Keep in mind, there were probably a couple thousand people at the event. Here’s the kicker, she was a third grader and had to ask a stranger to help her find the way. Parents piss me off sometimes.
So from time to time I watch the food network and one of my favorite shows is, Chopped. I watched a great episode tonight. It featured school cafeteria cooks. It was really good but I heard some disturbing statistics. They said that there are 1/3 of school children in the United States that don’t get enough to eat. They also mentioned that about 1/3 of school children are now or approaching obesity. That is way too many kids not getting correct nutrition. Couple that with our public school system nightmare and we really have a crisis here. I believe that with all the shit going on in our country right now, kids are getting lost in the fold.
I always hear parents say, “there’s no instruction manual…” Well, there are plenty of books that would help. I believe that education reform should be the priority of this country and that includes nutrition and health. I recently heard a man (far right-wing((but that shouldn’t matter))) say that this reform is not a priority at this time. I thought to myself, “this guy’s is about 65 years old. He will probably live another 20 years or so and then who will be running the country? The kids in the broken education system shoving shit in their mouths or starving because school lunches are inadequate… That makes sense a whole hell of a lot of sense.” Tune in and watch this upcoming election and the shit stream that comes from it and ask yourself what’s important. They wonder why young people don’t vote. It’s because the leadership doesn’t give a rat’s ass about them.
The western United States is on fire. Hurricanes are ravaging our South to Southeastern seaboards. Our government is in chaos and continuing to distance ourselves from the world. Kim is close to a nuclear arsenal. Our people won’t come together and are destroying one another. Can we recover from all of this? Yes is always the answer. People have been through worse, look at a history book, even the watered down version from high school.
The rain will come and put out the fires, we will mourn loss and rebuild. The flood waters will subside, we will cry but we will rebuild. The government has term limits that will soon be here, not soon enough in some cases. There are good people saying, “hold my beer and let me get this country on a good path,” as we speak. Nuclear war will not happen and if it does, we will learn and then pick up the pieces. People are resilient and don’t always see it. It’s natural to think the worst is happening but there is always someone that probably has it even worse than you. So, as Maui would say, “buckle up buttercup, we’re here!”
Go out today and do some good for someone. There are people all over that are hurting in some way. A friendly hello, a cold drink or even just a smile can change a day. If you have the ability, go big and really do some help!
For a couple decades as a young man I ran, I ran from the world. I ran from problems. I ran from people. I was good too because for the most part I got away.
Current day: I’m still running. It’s different though. I’m running literally, not as some amateurish writing metaphor. Training for a marathon is no joke (especially because when I started I couldn’t run around the block) but there are several reasons I’m drawn to it. It’s kind of the same thing as the draw of competitive golf for me. You can’t run. There is no where to hide and no way to fake it. Either you prepare or you fail miserably but the interesting thing about running and golf is that you can prepare as much as humanly possible and still fail. I love training with a purpose. I’ve never been drawn to training “as a lifestyle.” There has to be some acquired target to shoot at. June 3, 2018, 26.2 miles, I’ll be ready for whatever the day holds. I couldn’t help notice that that’s right around Sectional Qualifying for the US Open too. That would be unique.
Yesterday was a difficult day. My right mind was out for business. I posted that “I didn’t belong here.” Yes, that does have some ambiguity and perhaps if I was looking for a hand I should have been more specific but that being said, I meant it. There are days I feel like I was dropped here by accident. I don’t always know how to deal and feel like a stranger, even in the mirror. A bunch of you responded with jokes. I guess that’s what I get after a life time of being a sarcastic asshole. 2 of you did not. My wife always is the first to make sure I’m good. We know each other. Thanks to the young lady from DVC. I appreciate your concern. The rest of you: I hope when someone in your life is going through the shit, as ambiguous as it may be, you use more than sarcasm.
I wake up everyday and do a quick once over of the news. Mostly I make sure we’re not at war with anyone. What would I do if we were? I glance at what our extreme leader said and then a peek at the extreme reaction. I start to go down that rabbit hole of being pulled into the online echo chamber of bullshit. I read “friends” posts, both conservative and liberal. They call for peace from their “private” page and in the same keystroke spit venom on public feeds. (Do you understand we can see that? Do you care?) I unfollow/block friends and distance myself. I read an article about being in the middle the other day. It didn’t end the way I assumed it would. It basically said not picking a side is doing nothing and I am the problem. Really? I’m the problem because I can think with more than just a chest thumping reaction? I cannot spend too much time here. I’m weak. I’m not like you. This hurts my soul to watch our people go through this. I can’t imagine the heartache when something real happens. I get halfway through some liberal propaganda post and there’s a tug at my sheets. “Daddy? You wake up?” “Yes honey.” Just in time, saved by my baby girl. I think about it everyday, what will I tell her? For now, it’s cereal, grapes, Mickey Mouse, pig tails and off to school. I’m stuck in an awake dream.