The road has been a long windy path of uncertainty. My life, well documented here, has been a romantic tragedy turned inspirational journey to the center of my grey matter. The many “start overs” have been frustrating and left me with a sense of helplessness. In a leap of faith I am surrounding myself with people filled with light. I’m slowly, always with caution, letting that light shine on me. The warmth has pumped my heart full of love and compassion. The shadow viewer that lives in my soul remains but your light combats it at every turn. Thank you.

I’m taking on several different projects at this very moment. These include: writing and producing a documentary, writing a memoir, social media active, continued college education, contacting and interacting with heroes (you), inspiring with my story, leading my household with better husbanding and fathering and training (both for golf and wellness).

Training for wellness is thrown around like a pig skin in a parking lot in the fall. For me, it’s always been fleeting. I bounce up and down it’s ladder yoyo style and when the season is over, it’s hung in the closet with my jersey. I have a new mission. I have found something to contain both my passions for bringing awareness to mental health and training for something that is bigger than my frame.

Recently, last week, I was engaged in a text conversation with an old friend, childhood old. His recent struggles with mental health are near and dear to my soul. I feel his pain through the brief letters on my phone. I know him. I’ve been him. I sweated trying to find some common ground, some way to reach him. I thought about our commonalities. Besides growing up across the street, taste in music and sharing brain mis-firings, we don’t have a lot in common. I quickly remembered that he used to run. I proposed, “how about we run some kind of endurance race next year?” I didn’t know if he would go for it but was proudly surprised when he said, “Yes.” We thought about a half marathon and left it at that. I could tell that the joy of being part of a team meant something to my friend and to me too.

After a day or two, I couldn’t shake an idea. I want to run the big marathon, 26.2. I carefully proposed the idea. After a day of deliberation the decision was made. We are running the Rock N Roll Marathon in San Diego on June 3, 2018! I am not a runner. I can jog about 2 miles right now until exhaustion. The challenge is real and it looms larger than my life can understand. A journey inside my journey begins. In the coming months I will be leaning on you, my light givers. I will be promoting our run. I will be beckoning on behalf of those that feel their voices aren’t heard. Wish us well but don’t go anywhere. We need you. 312 days.

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