Realization that you are afraid of a lot of stupid shit is something some of us have to deal with. I’ve realized my 2 biggest fears lately.

Legacy: I will just die and nobody will remember me for anything good. Or that I am just a memory already. I admire people that can just live and be, get drunk on the weekends and not give shits about this.  But, these constant questions in my soul drive me batty but also keep me going. I want to understand humanity. I will. My theory is that when you find out, you pass… Will have to wait and see. ((YouTube Lemmy’s memorial service. That’s how I want people to remember me…))

My children’s future: I want only the best for their lives but there is a chance they will struggle as I have. The rapidly changing landscape of the world makes me not know what the future will hold. “Live in the Now” is what I know and learn but it is OH SO hard. One of my friends wrote that it was hard to understand Buddhist concepts and easy to practice. I believe it is exactly opposite. It’s easy to read a book, it’s easy to talk about, it’s easy to tell people how to live the Tao, it’s easy to be hypocritical, it’s hard to put into actual practice. I’m trying to return to my Way. I hope I can get there.

One thing I learned from Disneyland is that children are better than us.

For Now: I work hard. Physical, mental, emotional strength. It’s a fucking balance.

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