As I continue to age the obvious things happen: I call my cats by my daughter’s name, I forget where I put shit like my car keys (always in different places), I have to make lists and notes for everything and I fart way too much (everything gives you gas in varying degrees). Look, it may be embarrassing to some but to me it’s a right of passage. I can’t wait to get old. I can say stupid shit and no one will care. I can eat whatever because I want to and earned it dammit. I can rip ass at will, no restrictions. I’m talking really old here folks. I just didn’t think the process would begin so hastily.
I have a long way to go in the age spectrum, hopefully, but I started a trend that I hope doesn’t follow me. I’ve fallen but so far I’ve gotten up. I fell 3 times in a 3 day period leading into the holiday season. 1. I was walking to a Starbucks. I was carrying my laptop (Surface Pro to be exact) and I noticed a guy sitting at a small table outside the front door. I only looked for a split second. There was a parking block a few feet in front of the curb. I tripped, tablet flew into a grassed area, I tumbled and hit a small round plastic table and chair. I bounced up and caught the table and chair before they hit the ground. Shoulder rolling on a concrete sidewalk doesn’t feel good. I looked over and the little old man that caught my attention. He clapped. As if to say, “that will kill you some day son.” Thanks. Act cool. Dust off. Tablet ok and in to get my coffee. 2. At one of the family Christmas party (the very next day) I was taking loads of stuff out to the car, getting ready to leave. On the last trip back in I caught the curb with my big toe and phone flew from my hand. I wasn’t looking at it, just holding it because for some reason I’m addicted to it’s touch. Another shoulder roll and this time my phone’s screen spider webbed. Which I really am ok with because it still works but shit that one hurt me. 3. The very next night I was going to check on Piper in her room and took a wide turn. Toe, meet suitcase and BOOM, big fall. A fall that freaked out the little one. That’s 3 falls in as many days. Coincidence… I don’t think so. I threw in some agility drills in the gym the last few nights, just because.
And I swear as I was writing this, I got up to do something and boom. I rolled my ankle…on nothing but the floor. Dammit. I need to call Peyton and get some HGH. Just kidding, calm down #18, you got 3 games to win.
Cheers and wish me luck. We head into the mountains this weekend. Plenty of snow and ice up there.