There are a lot of friends out there, old and new, going through a bunch of life obstacles right now. Currently you are sitting on your couch thinking about your next move. What should you do? Where should you go? Why? How did we get here? I know. I’ve been there. I have a unique story but it’s not new. Everyone in the history of the world goes through something at one point or another. Your story is unique though and should be treated as such. I don’t claim to be an expert, just a guy that’s been through some shit and has come out the other side of it pretty damn healthy.
The first step to me is one that I ignored for years. It’s the act of not ignoring your problems. (repetition intended) You have to mourn your loss to get through it. People, including myself, will say that time is the only thing that heals wounds. That simply is not true. Time only allows a scab to grow. At some point that scab will be picked (gross, I know) and the wound will fester and turn into something else, perhaps something of which you have little control. The snowball effect will happen and it will run your ass over. Unlike the Indiana Jones scene with the giant boulder, you will be unable to get out of the way. You cannot run from it either. If it happened to you, it happened in your brain. It will never go away, it just hides in there waiting to expose you. Embracing the suck and mourning the situation is the only way. Cry, cry until you no longer can. It won’t ever be gone but instead will just be part of your past. Part that has ended up helping you learn, helping you grow, part that can no longer shame you.
I’m here if anyone wants to talk. I doubt you will, I didn’t when I was in it but you are not alone. Your story is unique but not new.