Inside my skin lives a demon. His only mission in life is to make me quit, quit on myself and the world around me. I’ve battled the “quit demon” for almost my entire life. As soon as I left the confines of my childhood protection I’ve been a quitter. I’ve written about this before but not really into too much detail. My first voyage into the “real” world was to the University of Wyoming. I had a hard time adjusting to both social and academic life. Without anyone looking over my shoulder, I quit. I’ve quit so many jobs it’s hard to have an accurate count. When it gets difficult, the demon takes control and I quit. Some of these employments were pretty damn good and I could probably be upper management or in an executive office by now but the demon will not have it. I’m not sure the demon is a literal interpretation of oppression that goes on in my brain or more acts as a metaphor; a figurative representation of depression. All I know is that I battle. The war rages on. As I’ve gotten more control over my life the fight has become less of an occurance, positive energy has replaced rage. However, from time to time, the demon rears its ugly head and it’s game on. Yesterday was such a day. All I wanted to do was walk out of every classroom and hit the “withdraw” tab on my keyboard but I stayed the course. I battled and I won. It leaves me exhausted but pride goes a long way in keeping the demon at bay for longer time periods. Also, I have a team of warriors now that will stand beside me as I battle. The circle grows and the demon weakens.

 

I know there are some of you wondering why I bare my soul to the world on here. I hope that there are people who read this and realize that they are not alone. That there are other’s out there that have their own demons to fight. That you can win. “Don’t give up, Don’t ever give up.”

 

Next topic: I’m attracted to the idea of being a hippy, dammit. Also, my favorite “golf place” on the planet. You might be surprised.

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