Day 15 of the Quest:
Recently I’ve been trying to do one thing everyday, it’s not as easy as I thought it would be. Be nice. Most of this blog, so far, has focused on negative occurrences in my life and how I’m dealing with them to aid in my journey. I guess the sadness and depressive nature of this has driven some readers away, mind you I’m only just beginning week 3. I’ve gotten up to 108 reads in one day but I’m back down to 50, I guess this is effective. Well, this blog will be a little more of the same but you see I learn from these experiences and choose to believe that they are important tools. Life is sometimes sad and hard but if we are lucky it goes on, redemption. Events and emotions happen, there what make us human. If we don’t take a minute and recognize them, learn and move on, we are missing the point. Again, better late than never.
I believe it was seventh grade, someone correct me if that is wrong. I remember being in the gym at practice, perhaps basketball. Someone came in to break the news to us. One of our friends and her entire family (mother excluded) had been killed in a small airplane accident. Anne was a short girl, at an age most of the girls were out growing the boys, this did not happen for her. She had rosy cheeks, a cute smile and nerdy little giggle. She wore glasses and had short curly hair. To most of the students, I guess she was considered a dork. She was unmercifully picked on by several, not just the popular crowd. I always sensed that she may have had a little crush on me. At a very awkward time in my life I tried so hard to fit in but nothing seemed to matter. I played all the sports, music, whatever I could do just to have friends and “be cool.” In my attempt to be in, I may have also been mean to Anne, name calling and general bullying. I will never forget her. I’m sure that the last words I had for her were not kind, that’s painful. I’m 35 years old, a lot of my childhood memories are starting to fade but my memory of Anne is vibrant. I use her memory as a reminder to be kind. She was kind, never mean. If I could talk to her again I would say,” Annie, I am so sorry for words I have said and not stepping in when others hurt you, but where ever you are I’m sure you are lighting the way with your cute smile and laugh. Thanks for being a part of my life and lasting in my mind.”
Tomorrow, go out of your way to be nice to someone who needs it, it’s easy to tell. You’ll be surprised how good it will make you feel, good karma and light. I’m going to run now, the pavement calls.