Days 4 & 5

I spent a lot of my last couple days strengthening my body. Eating better, running ( a little more everyday) and stretching, not to mention not so much coffee. I’ve hit an emotional halt today. Five years ago today, we all lost a friend, even if you didn’t know him. Jimmy was a great person. He definitely believed in me when nobody would, drove me. Maybe that’s why I played the best golf of my life that year. There were three of us at the beginning  that were looking for a fresh start. Relationships don’t always work out the way you plan and the three of ours ended pretty much simultaneously. All of us had worked together and pretty much were looking for the same thing, to have fun and heal. We soon found an apartment in a nice location and were looking forward to bachelor hood in Scottsdale Arizona. Not too long into our new life, Jim checked himself into the hospital. Fucking cancer, 28 years old, no chance. A brief summary of months of agony and pain to come. I withdrew from the situation and did not deal with it well. Days of alcohol and drugs filled the next month. I hurt and in turn hurt ones I cared about, friends. Damn. Five years and still seems like yesterday. I’ve come along way since then and Jim will always be with me, in my thoughts and heart. I talk to him mostly when I’m on the golf course, always paying respect at the turn (between 9 & 10). It was were we met so many times, always with an encouraging word for me. I miss and love Jim Foust.

Last night I found out that one of my sister’s might not make it. Years of substance abuse have rendered her body week. I am sad. Sad for my mother and for her children. It’s ok to be sad. I will continue to write, it help me deal.

I will keep working toward my goals.